Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
