Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
