come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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