at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
