I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
