By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
