I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
