Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's blow job season.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
