I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
