in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
