WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
