so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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