we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
