Pants 0. Shit 1.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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