Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
