so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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