I want to have your abortion
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
