I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
