they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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