She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
