You just made me feel so damn special
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
