i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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