If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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