watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
