you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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