come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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