I think i peed on brittanys purse
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
