just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
