Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
vagina is talking i cant
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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