Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
