do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
