My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
