my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
