dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
