now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
