he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
