He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
