So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
