just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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