I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
