he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
