If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
