Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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