Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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