I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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