Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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