Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Never underestimate the power of titties
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