That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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