Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
