operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
